I wanna hold you till I dietill we both break down and cryI wanna hold you till the fear in me subsidestoday's going to be the last day I look over my shoulder and feel all the pain. final day that is. and it's be yesterday no more. history no more. past no more. pain no more. today I finally understand what someone told me about keep some part of myself for myself than giving everything. and hence not being able to recover back myself again. I can blame no one but myself. every single day we are left with choice. and again I stress there isn't such a thing called no choice or bo pian. haha. we always have a choice, e consequence we face. dont eat, we starve. no such thing called no choice and I have to eat.okay now that's really beside the point I'm trying to put across. since the day I met him I was left with a choice. a choice whether to be with him. how much to give to him. how much I would do for him. what I'd do for him. what I'd change for him. what I'd do to make him happy. whether I'd give my best. whether or not my best was enough was for him to decide or to judge. choice was something I possessed and decision was something I was left with. I gave till I couldn't find myself no more. up till now. I'm just another writer, still trapped within my truth.funny thing yw taught me what was to give and not expect in return. it was a painful one year for me to learn sth like that. the hard way of course. something hard because it's human nature that expectations are visionary and goals are placed. it's near impossible that this part of my life can be forgotten, I've moved on and I've let it go already. I wont forget and I cant even if I wanted to. but I really must say that I gave all that I was. no regrets at all. at least there was a realisation on who we really loved/love. self-discovery's quite great! it's better to give than to recieve afterall. sometimes finding myself selfish though. nowadays at least. now's 2219 hours 12th May 2005. I'll let it end right here and let time heal. will dwell in it no more. :))I've got no reason to do so. I have a great guy already. and I love the things we share and I adore him. kenneth chng lun. we have a choice to make it last dont we? I want it to last till the last.going for a run right now. need to let it all out. so freaking pissed with that woman. again. what's with learning guitar? wont even pay to sustain your daughter's interest eh? so you think this will lead me to nothing? it's something I love god damn it.
girlwithabroken(: : 22:27
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